Friday, October 16

I glance at the mirror, coldly.

I shiver.

I did not plan for this, I thought. I did not plan to throw my heart on a ledge in hell, causing it to burn and turn to ashes while watching it slowly evanish into the burning breeze, and walk away heartlessly. I did not plan for this.

And I don’t know what’s worse.

The fact that I felt everything. Every last stinging pain, and every gasp for air.

Or the fact that I feel nothing now. Is it worse? Or is it better?

Well, I don’t know what’s better either.

I take one last look at the mirror, smile, and then fade away.

The mirror did not smile back.

Sunday, September 27

I ignite flames around this endless cycle of adoration and hate after comprehending the undeniable fact that love and pain have always held hands. But oh, how liberating it feels to survive after being covered in my own flames, grief and ruins. To survive after my lifeline walks away.

When you’re on your own enough, you learn how to save yourself from your own flames.

Monday, August 24

Do not attempt to put me together because it will only make me split down the middle even faster.

My pieces are hungry for no fingers but my own, and will not tolerate the touch of another.

13.8.2015; A Day To Be Remembered

“Eighteen years young,

 and she had already lived

 enough lives to fill a small city.”

Wednesday, August 12; Gone

After I’ve promised “forever”, I didn’t realize it, but the days came along one after another, and then one year has passed. The demons were gone, the screams were gone, the poems were gone, and I was gone.

Sometimes “forever” isn’t that long. 

My Fires

There are two basic motivating forces; fear and love. In my case, it’s fear. It is the fear of all my fires. The slow burn of my hopes, the raging fire of my heart, the flames of my forbidden desires, and a couple more. 

As a result, I don’t feel like trading my heart with strangers for something to what they hope is fulfilling. In fact, I don’t feel like giving my heart out at all. I want to care and I want to learn to give, but I’m just too tired to share my nights. I am just too tired to share myself with anybody after acknowledging my fires. 

If this is to end in fire when all is said and done, when everyone has come and gone, then we shall all burn together. 

Thursday, July 23; New Journey

Frantic sirens ring at the loudest decibel as I set fire to my regrets; letting them burn until there is nothing but the smoke that covers my urge to run away as strong as wildfire to the road less traveled. 

I crave the mystery behind unseen passages, and now, I spread my arms and commit myself to nothing but you, and the sky. Promise me that, while we walk in the same direction, you will be content with your new journey.

Sunday, July 12

You cannot possibly fathom

how loudly I think regardless

to how quiet I may look.

They say, the smarter you get the less you speak.

Monday, June 29

We are not who we thought we were; and the loss of a cherished pleasure is not necessarily the loss of true happiness and well-being. Stability is not found in another person. It is an internal decision expressed through an outer experience of good balance.

Wednesday, June 24

It took an excruciatingly long time 
for me to learn how to breath again..

it has only just hit me now that my
life barely began before it ended